California Dream-Killin'

Here's that awful mix of sadness and pride again. I just learned that California's Supreme Court has upheld Prop 8, or Prop HATE as many of our facebook friends have angrily typed.

Last November, we were so thrilled with Barrack Obama's election, but felt sickened by the wave of intolerance that swept in on the same ballots that made him victorious. We were sad and hurt for everyone in California who had worked so hard to fight the bigotry blown their way, and sad for the gay and lesbian couples that had been told by their fellow citizens that their unions were not valid.

The religious right and opponents of progress are always using the "think of the children" line. What about all the children who are/will be queer, and those being raised in loving queer families? Those well-funded voices of hate have once again told these kids that their love, their families don't count, and don't deserve the state's protection or respect.

So that's the sadness, and here's my pride: we are Canadian, married queers. I am happy and grateful every day for the love I have in my life, and for the country that supports the commitment we made to one another almost 5 years ago. Funny thing is, this morning I scanned a photo of us that appears in the current issue of Toronto Life, which appears along with portraits of 8 other couples as the #4 "reason to love Toronto: 5,493 same-sex couples have married here since 2003".

Photos by John Cullen, published by Toronto Life.
The text by Gerald Hannon reads:
"Toronto was the first city in Canada to ban discrimination in municipal hiring on the basis of sexual orientation — back in 1973. After the police raided four bathhouses in 1981, a series of protests welded a community of gays and lesbians and their straight friends into a potent political force. The next big battle — for the right to marry — came to a dazzling end on June 10, 2003, when Ontario's Court of Appeal ruled that the law was discriminatory and ordered the province to begin issuing licences that very day (Parliament would extend the right to all Canadians two years later). Today Toronto is a gay rights beacon, especially to Americans weary of their country's patchwork of indecency laws, and of the religious right's seemingly unstoppable ability to quash marriage initiatives, even in such ostensibly liberal places as California. Last year, 747 couples got married in Toronto, 342 of them from abroad. It's so profoundly accepted that's it's not such a big deal anymore. Talk about it outside the country, though, and watch the faces. They glow with admiration. It's no longer Oz they see over the rainbow, it's our town."

I don't post this to gloat, of course. I passionately wish that every person who craves the freedom to marry has access to it. Even more, I wish for an end to the oppression of gays, lesbians, and transpeople everywhere. There are far more devastating consequences than political loss and denial of a couples' desire to wed, but this defeat is a reminder of how many battles remain, and how much hatred and ignorance lurk even in this "historical" era in the USA.